Sunday, April 20, 2014

Frostillicus Moon Pies (what a time to be alive)

In season 9 episode 17 Lisa The Simpson, Grandpa Simpson's Retirement Castle roommate, Jasper Beardly, decides he wants to cryogenically freeze himself. So he does what any geezer on a fixed income would do, he goes to the Kwik-E-Mart, removes all the ice cream from one section of the freezer, and climbs inside.  He leaves a note stating that he has frozen himself so that he may live to see the wonders of the future. He asks that he be thawed out when robot wives are cheap and effective, and that his pants be altered as fashion dictates.
On the advice of Dr. Nick Riviera, Apu keeps Jasper frozen and names him "Frostillicus." He changes the name of the store to "Freak-E-Mart" and charges admission to see other oddities such as the incredible Siamese hot dog, the Frito found in a bag of Doritos, and the can of mystery (the label mysteriously vanished years ago).

When Frostillicus accidentally thaws out, he believes he has awoken in the future. He grabs a Moon Pie off the shelf and declares "What a time to be alive."
It's one of my favorite moments.

NEWS FLASH: Moon Pies are delicious! They're basically two graham crackers sandwiched together with marshmallow, and drenched in chocolate. Kind of like s'mores, without the campfire.
They were created as a convenient snack for miners in 1917 (which is why that joke is so funny). In the south, they're traditionally served with an RC Cola. They're also thrown from floats during Mardi Gras.

Here's how to make your own:

Frostillicus Moon Pies 
(What a Time to be Alive)

Makes 10

No-So-Secret Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup whole-wheat flour
  • 1/2 cup wheat germ
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon 
  • 2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 3/4 cup light-brown sugar
  • 2 tablespoons honey
    For the Marshmallow Filling:
    • 2 egg whites
    • Pinch of cream of tartar
    • Pinch of salt
    • 2/3 cup light corn syrup
    • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
    • 1 cup powdered sugar

    For the Chocolate Coating:
    • 1 1/2 cups dark chocolate chips
    • 1/4 cup vegetable oil

    Real-Life Instructions:

    1. Make the cookies first: Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper, and set aside.
    2. In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together both flours, wheat germ, salt, baking soda, and cinnamon. Set aside.
    3. In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat together butter, brown sugar, and honey until pale and fluffy.
    4. Reduce speed to low, and add the flour mixture in two parts, mixing well after each addition. Your dough will be kinda crumbly. Don't worry, that's good!
    5. Divide your dough in half, and place one half onto a floured surface.
    6. Using a floured rolling pin, roll out each piece to about an 1/8 inch thick.
    7. Using a 3-4 inch round biscuit cutter, cut out circles and place them on the prepared baking sheets.
    8. Repeat with second half of dough.
    9. Refrigerate the cookies (on the baking sheets) for 10 minutes.
    10. Remove your cookies from the fridge, and bake 8-9 minutes or until golden brown.
    11. Allow to cool on the pan for 5 minutes before removing to a wire to cool completely.
    12. To Make the Marshmallow Filling: Using a mixer with the whisk attachment, beat egg whites, cream of tartar, and salt until stiff peaks form.
    13. In a small saucepan, boil the corn syrup over high heat without stirring until it registers 230 to 235 degrees F on a candy thermometer (thread ball stage).
    14. With the mixer on high speed, slowly drizzle the hot corn syrup into the egg whites, by letting it run down the inside of the bowl. 
    15. Continue to beat at high speed until glossy, about 2 minutes.
    16. Reduce the speed to medium-low, add vanilla and powdered sugar. Beat until well combined.
    17. Spoon about 1½ Tablespoons of marshmallow filling into the center of a cookie. Be careful not to use too much marshmallow, the cookie top will slide off.
    18. Top with another cookie and press lightly to spread the marshmallow to the edges. Repeat with the rest of the cookies. 
    19. To Make the Chocolate Coating: In a microwave-safe bowl, microwave chocolate and vegetable oil at 30 second increments, stirring after each increment, until completely smooth.
    20. Place the assembled cookies on a wire rack set over a sheet of wax paper.
    21. One at a time, sink each cookie sandwich into the bowl of chocolate. Then, using a fork, lift the completely coated Moon Pie from the chocolate and return it to the wire rack.
    22. Place Moon Pies into the fridge for about an hour, to allow the chocolate to set before enjoying.
    23. What a time to be alive.

    This recipe is Lisa Friendly

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